If you have attempted to overcome self-sabotage by engaging in internal conflicts and battles, you may have noticed that it is a futile endeavor. Self-sabotage involves fighting against yourself, so fighting against it only intensifies the problem. In reality, the only solution is to surrender and stop resisting the problem.
It’s time to stop fighting and start finding a solution to the problem. To assist you in finding real relief from the habits and behaviors that are hurting you, we have assembled a list of 13 tips. These tips are intended to provide you with the tools you need to break free from the cycle of self-sabotage.
Celebrate Small Wins All The Time
Acknowledging and celebrating your accomplishments can be challenging, particularly when you struggle to believe that you are deserving of recognition.
However, when you achieve even small accomplishments, it is critical to pause and acknowledge them. Take a moment to smile and congratulate yourself, inform a supportive friend or family member, and even utter a phrase like “well done” out loud.
When it comes to significant accomplishments, avoid diminishing them or forgoing celebration. You deserve to be recognized and honored for your hard work and achievements! Therefore, attend your graduation ceremony after completing your degree, participate in the company party after a successful project, say yes to your friends planning a birthday celebration for you, and, for goodness’ sake, don’t tell your significant other, “You don’t have to buy me a gift this year.” Celebrate and cherish these accomplishments, both big and small, to appreciate the fruits of your labor.
Create A Plan
It is widely recognized that making mistakes or poor decisions is more likely when one is tired or hungry. However, research indicates that self-handicapping, a behavior that undermines one’s own performance or efforts, requires a significant amount of energy and is more probable during peak times.
The findings of a particular study suggested that individuals with different circadian rhythms tend to self-handicap during different times of the day. For instance, morning people are more prone to self-handicap during the morning, while night people self-handicap in the evening.
Identifying when you are most susceptible to self-sabotage can be valuable information. By recognizing that you are more likely to sabotage yourself at night, you can implement a plan to limit the amount of self-sabotage that you default to.
Here are some practical tips to avoid self-sabotage during the night:
Set limits on phone use: Engaging in social media at 3 am and comparing your life to others may not be beneficial. Set wellness timers on your phone to restrict your social media usage at night.
Don’t use your phone as an alarm: If your phone is in your room, you may be tempted to scroll through social media instead of getting much-needed sleep.
Establish a nightly ritual: Instead of staying up all night perfecting everything or lying in bed overthinking, create a nightly ritual. Plan a set of activities you will complete each night before bed, including a nightly cleanup, to help you wind down and relax.
By having a plan in place and sticking to it, you can prevent self-sabotage during times when you are most vulnerable.
Eliminate Your Inner Self-Critic
Many people struggle with an inner self-critic that is less than kind. It’s important not to give this self-critic any more power or control over your life. Here are some tips to help you overcome your self-critic:
- Look at the facts: It’s crucial to recognize that your self-critic is toxic and is likely lying to you. Don’t let it define your self-worth.
- Be kinder: Every day, say something kind to yourself, about yourself. This can help counteract negative self-talk and build your self-esteem.
- Change your mind: When self-criticism or anxiety arises, shift your thinking to something positive that you’re grateful for.
- Avoid all-or-nothing thinking: Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that success or failure are absolutes. Instead, celebrate the small wins and look for areas where you are succeeding.
- Put things into perspective: Imagine someone you love being the target of the criticism in your head. For instance, insert the name of someone you care about into a self-critical thought, such as “You always let everyone down. You’re a complete failure.” Can you feel how upset and angry that would make you if someone said that to your loved one? You wouldn’t say that to someone else, so don’t let your inner critic say it to you.
By taking these steps, you can begin to overcome your self-critic and build a more positive, self-affirming mindset.
Create Small Changes Slowly
Making significant changes to your life can be overwhelming and set you up for failure. Instead, it’s essential to make one change at a time to achieve success and avoid self-sabotage.
For instance, if you plan to start a daily exercise routine, it’s best to start small instead of aiming for a more significant goal. If walking a few blocks leaves you exhausted, start by walking a mile four days a week, gradually increasing your distance while incorporating some jogging. If you miss a day, don’t worry, just resume the following day.
Similarly, when it comes to relationships, don’t vow never to date toxic people again. Instead, take time to identify what you need in a relationship, such as feeling seen, nurtured, or accepted. Prioritize self-care before embarking on another relationship.
Lastly, if you’re feeling stuck in your job and struggle to show up every day, quitting might not be the solution. Instead, focus on your long-term goals and determine if quitting would hinder you from achieving them. You can try to sign up for a workshop to learn new skills or start a passion project outside of work to help you feel more fulfilled.
Remember, making one change at a time will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed, reduce the chances of self-sabotage, and set you up for success.
Final Thoughts
Self-sabotage is a common and often debilitating behavior that can hold us back from achieving our goals and living our best lives. But there are steps we can take to overcome self-sabotage, from celebrating our accomplishments to killing our inner self-critic, and making one change at a time. By understanding our patterns of self-sabotage and taking concrete steps to address them, we can start to break free from these self-defeating behaviors and start living the life we want. Remember, it’s not about being perfect, but about making progress towards our goals and becoming the best version of ourselves.
